Don’t Fear Failure but Fear Your Fear

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Do you really think that there is something always holding you back from achieving something? I am sure you did it at least once in a lifetime. Sometimes we will try harder and gain an order in life. But after a few days everything will get messed up. We will feel real desperate, because only you knew what it took to reach there. I had a lot of experiences like this. I told my readers that I am not really interested in going to PSC classes. When I started to go to PSC classes it felt so annoying and over depressing for me. I stopped going out because of the depression but it just elevated my conflict. One day during the PSC class, one of my teachers told his story.

 He wanted to be an actor. He actually belongs to a financially well family and there were a lot of probabilities for him. But his parents were quite interested in making him a government servant. First time it was very hard for him and eventually he managed to adjust with it. After failing two exams he got a job in the Kerala fire and rescue services. And he is also acting in some short films when he is off duty.

Whatever, his story inspired me very much. I went back home and thought about it and felt like the world is not going to end today. I will have opportunities and have to wait for my turn. When I get a job I will have money for fulfilling my dreams. I started practically and systematically studying from that day and didn’t even leave a point behind; I was literally eating every single word in a previous work out text. My marks started to rise as I get more points from what I am studying. I studied about 50 topics in a month which can raise my marks near 70.

 But in the next month the Kerala caught by a flood. I think that you are familiar with the story of Kerala floods. That flood just ruined everything. We had to move to our relative’s house until the flood is over. I didn’t even get time for taking any of my books. We were literally thinking about saving our lives. It took two weeks to the flood to go.

 When the flood was over we came back home. I was not able to remember 80% of the things that I studies making a lot of effort. That was really a worst situation. I went so desperate. Whenever I try to open the book and try to recollect what I had in my mind before, I will get so bored. I became lazy without even realizing. My marks started to decrease and I got totally depressed. I thought that I cannot take anything back. After a week I stopped going to PSC classes.

Days passed by, I happen to see an advertisement of a PSC training institute called FAST academy. That night I thought about an English poem that I learned in my school days.

“Even if you fall down

Take your weapons back

And fight on”

These lines really made me think that everything is not over. I decided to go and take an admission in that institute. The next day I took admission in FAST. As I stopped it for a long time I literally forget everything. Not everything but a plenty of them. But I determined to bring at least a little of them back. I literally stopped going out and waste time with cricket and started a regular study. After a week of my joining the first model exam conducted. My mark was below 20, I have a little problem with saying that exact mark now. Sorry about that! As weeks passes I saw my marks are improving. When it reached above 40 I started to skip classes again.

 But unlike the past I came back quickly. My marks didn’t go that low. After trying a plenty of months my marks reached above 50 which literally increased my confidence. I don’t say my marks are good now as it doesn’t cross 60. I am still working on it and pretty sure that I will kind of make it. There was one more loss that I faced that can’t be forgotten in my life. One day The Railway Recruitment Board declared a job with a vacancy above ninety thousand. The eligible date of birth was 1/7/2000. Surprisingly my date of birth was 2/7/2000. It was such a loss. That was horrible. It was a difference of one day that cost me a carrier. But I’m still strong, I made a strong determination and quick come back policy.

I am just trying to say that, don’t get so desperate in your losses. We will feel so helpless times when we lose something that we earned from a lot of efforts. All we need is that quick comeback. If you are distracted from something for a long time that can change your life, go to the mirror and say “quick comeback is my policy” and get back to it. Don’t fear failure, fear the fear. Be warned about your own fear or it will grow like a cancer cell in your mind and drag you down and further. Remember the “Bahubali” movie. When the enemies destroyed the fence made by “Mahishmati” everyone believed that it was the end of their nation. But Bahubali’s words changed the story.

“WARRIORS! What is death? Death is showing no defense and start running. It’s death when you can’t protect your mother’s dignity. It’s death when you can’t defend your nation even if you are able to.”

It simply means even if you are completely destroyed, you have to realize there is more time. You have to tell yourself that it is not over yet. Fight with honor and challenge the trouble. You will win as long as it can’t kill you.

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